Given the week that is in it, I thought I'd provide an interesting perspective into the Gift of GAB that will have you laughing and learning.
Now to our business fable for St. Patrick's Day about the Gift of GAB (Goals, Attitude, Brand Behavior) Enjoy!
O'Hara's Bed & Breakfast, West Coast Ireland. Characters: Mary Margaret O'Hara, proprietor: Michael Patrick (husband), Patrick Michael (son), American Hank Devlin and his long time golf- buddy Martin Boyd, both on first visit to Ireland _____________________________________________________________
"Well, now lads I hope you enjoyed that lovely Irish breakfast - the three slices of black pudding - blood pudding to you - the slices of bacon, mushrooms, baked beans, the two fresh eggs sunny side up as you Americans like to say and of course the giant sausages from McCool's the Butcher. He's a brother-in-law of my sister-in-law you know, although they haven't spoken for over twelve years, but that's only temporary. Tell me, what do you fine lads plan to do today. You're off to the golf course, are ye?"
"Mrs. O'Hara we sure are. We need directions. We don't have GPS."
Where the Angels Swim
"And what would ye be needin' that for, Sir? Doesn't everyone around here know where everyplace is, around here like? But I'll tell ya how to get to the golf course. If you go down this road for about two miles, you'll see a road to the right. That road takes you over the beautiful green hillside and you'll get a great view of the lakes. They say it is where the angels swim. Some people say they swim in the nude, but I don't think Father Murphy would approve of that, although there's been a lot of talk about the long walks he takes with Mother Octavia of the Seven Sorrows - she's from Six Flags, she has five brothers, four sisters, three are nuns, two priests and one is the black sheep of the family - he's a politician! Aye, very long walks."
Mrs. O'Hara paused. "Anyway, if you see the lakes, you've taken the wrong road. Don't take that road. About a kilometer - 'tis kilometers we use here now, you know. Kilometers are shorter than miles, but the funny thing is you don't get there any faster. Anyway - before that road, there is a turn to the left - take that, and the golf course is down there. Have you gentlemen visited these parts before?"
"No. No. We have not, although I sure do love it. My grandfather emigrated from here years ago. I remember sitting on his knee and telling me about the beautiful Irish people and countryside. He never told me about the great Irish golf courses you have."
"Ah, the only things walking the land in those days were the sheep. Off you go now, gentlemen and par for putt or whatever you guys do. And mind the hydrant on the way out."
"Oops, sorry, that's my effort at Tiger Woods humor."
"That's a bit wet, Mrs. O'Hara, that's a bit wet," responded the smiling Hank.
"Well, aren't you the clever one now, Mr. Devlin? I must write that down and say it to my next guests," Mrs. O'Hara said with glee.
What Do I Want My Attitude To Be?
"It's a funny game that golf. My son Patrick Michael says they even have names for each golf hole down at the golf course - names like White Sox and Wrigley although he says that one is a waste of time for some reason. Now where do they get names like that from? Well, now off you go and keep an eye out for sheep on the road. When you are near the golf course, they might delay you. But as my late husband, Michael Patrick said when things go wrong -'What do I want my attitude to be?' "
"Sorry to hear that your husband passed away, Mrs. O'Hara, that must have been a blow."
"My husband? - Ah no, he's just late - late back from the creamery."
"Oh, I'm glad to hear that. Don't worry - we'll keep an eye out for the sheep on the road."
"Do that. As Bono might sing 'It's a beautiful day.' Off you go now." As the would-be golfers drove off, Mrs. O'Hara smiled, took out her sleek iPhone hit a speed key and said:
"Hi Patrick Michael? Morning. Quick one for you. I've just had a couple of guests heading off to the golf course. Are you out on the land at the moment? Good. Good. Look they'll be going by your place in about 10 minutes. Put a few sheep out on the road for them. Give them a touch of old Ireland."
"Mom, you're nuts."
The Brand Experience
"Ah now Son, you are the one that told me about this Brand Experience thing. That it will help us beat the recession. Those guys came looking for the old Ireland. Aran sweaters. Friendly people. Crazy directions."
"And what's with the sheep, Mom? That could make them late for their golf."
"Sheep? That's the added value son which you tell me should always be provided. And if they get a little anxious about being late, just tell them to remember that great question when things go slightly wrong."
"Yea, I know, 'What do I want my attitude to be?' It's a powerful question, recession or not."
"That it is Son. So put those sheep out, create that Brand Experience thing, I'll get repeat business and pay off your student loans. It's the Gift of GAB son, Goals, Attitude, Behavior and for God's sake don't be playing the Sex Pistols on the tractor when they go by. It'll ruin the Brand Image thing. And remember that Gift of GAB son."
"I will, I will. Goals, Attitude, Behavior. It's the key to BEATING the recession. OK, Mom, I'll put the sheep out. Where are they from?"
"Chicago, the Windy City."
"Ah Barack OBama country! I wonder will they be saying 'Yes - we can, Yes - we can' after losing a dozen golf balls on that course. But why are you sending them this direction? All you had to do was give them MapQuest details."
The Gift of GAB
"And wouldn't that ruin the experience Son? You know Ireland has one of the best educated young populations in the world. You are not a good example of that.
"You've got your father's brains - he's still not back from the creamery. My Goal is to make sure my guests have a great time, they'll have a great Attitude and the end Behavior is they will come back to Ireland again. I've got to go now son. That nice man, Padraig Harrington is on the Golf Channel. Hurry up with those sheep. You'll hear my guests coming. They're driving a stick shift."
"I will Mom, I will. I might even tell them about the Gift of GAB - How Goals, Attitude, Behavior can BEAT the living daylights out of the recession."
"That'd be nice Son. I think I hear your father coming. He's going to need the Gift of GAB to explain what kept him."
© IrishmanSpeaks - Conor Cunneen
For further Substance with Humor:
See Conor speak on ision featuring a famous black drink: Video clip on How to Choose your Attitude (when having a chat with Illinois' finest) and listen to Customer Service in San Quentin Jail. This and much more at www.IrishmanSpeaks.com